What are the impacts of experiencing abuse?

Self Blame: Most people who have experienced abuse believe that they have somehow caused the abuse or that they could have stopped it. Feelings of failure for not fixing the problem are common responses to experiencing abuse.

Shame: many people feel ashamed about what has happened, which often prevents people from asking others for help.

Low self-esteem and lack of confidence: feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy are common effects of abuse.

Hopelessness or Helplessness: many people feel very powerless in the situation as their attempts to stop the abuse have been unsuccessful.

Anger: often, people have difficult expressing their anger abuse abuse. They may turn their feelings of anger towards themselves.

Isolation from others: due to the abuse, people may be isolated from their friends and/or family. As well, abuse causes people to isolate themselves from others for fear of being judged by others of feeling ashamed of their situation.

Fear that the abuse will not be acknowledged by others:  People fear that their abuse will not be acknowledged by others and that when they disclose they will not receive the assistance/support they need. Sometimes, when people have disclosed their experiences of abuse to others, the violence was minimized, excused or condoned. This experience leaves people feeling even more isolated from supports.

Fear of future incidents of violence by the abuser.

Hypervigilence: Often, people who experience hypervigilence are overly sensitive to sounds and sights in the environment expecting danger and always feel ‘on edge’. Your startle response to situations may be exaggerated. This experience often impacts people’s memory and concentration.

Avoidance of social situations: often, the people in abusive relationships try to change their behavior, so to prevent their abuser from escalating.

Other links relevant to abusive relationships: