What is abuse?

Abuse is a pattern of behavior in which physical violence and/or emotional coercion is used to gain or maintain power or control in a relationship. A single incident of assault also constitutes abuse.

 

Statistics Canada (2004) found that anyone can be a victim of violence. However, according to results from the General Social Survey (2004) women reported more severe injuries than men. Women were three times more likely to fear for their life and were three times more likely to take time off from their everyday activies because of the violence they were experiencing.

Family Violence in Canada: A Statisical Profile 2005. Ottawa: Statistics Canada.

What is the Cycle of Abuse?

Often, it is difficult to recognize the pattern of abuse in a relationship, as people tend to perceive abusive behaviors as isolated incidents that are unrelated to one another. Yet abuse can often happen in cycles.  Often, abusive behavior is interspersed with calm, loving periods within the relationship. The cycle of abusive can be described as follows.

Tension Building Phase:  tensions may arise in the relationship (ie. a minor disagreement). The tension will continue to build over hours, days, months, until an ‘Explosion’ occurs.

Explosion Phase: the ‘explosion’ often results in a form of physical, verbal or sexual assault.

Calm Phase:  the abuser may buy gifts or do something special. Often, the abuser will feel sorry for what has happened.

Typically, the cycle repeats itself and often intensifies in frequency, as more small incidents occur, which result in tensions to arise and the cycle of abuse to occur.  People want to believe that each incident of abuse will not occur again. However, it usually does continue.

Sometimes abuse occurs without any warning signs or build-up or there may be no periods of remorse. In other situations, tension is always present.
‘Issues of interpersonal violence are about power and control dynamics within a relationship.’

Elliot, P. (1996). Shattering Illusions: Same Sex Domestic Violence in Rezette and Miley (eds.). Violence in Gay and Lesbian Domestic Partnerships. New York: Haworth Press.



Other links relevant to abusive relationships:

  • Are you experiencing abuse?
  • What are the impacts of experiencing abuse?
  • What assistance can the Community Safety Office provide?